Saturday 12 March 2011

Blink and the world changes

It does seem to be the case that we blink and the world has changed by the time we open our eyes - the world has dramatic shifts that we are given notice about on a regular basis: earthquakes, floods, famine, war ...
A friend once told me that what seemed to be a dramatic change in my life, was instead, the next logical step. It had been coming slowly and surely, similar to a child learning to walk. The other end of a person's life had been coming, and "suddenly" she was bed ridden.
The person was my mom, and my friend had acquired the wisdom through her own similar experience years earlier.
Seems to be a human trait to keep going, and to allow ourselves only to see what will allow us to do the work we feel we need to do. Everyone is different , and so probably I am only speaking for myself.
It seems the only way I can do the work in front of me is to do just that and only that. There is no way in language to describe what I am trying to say, and what I am trying to say changes all the time.
People speak of singing their own song, doing the dance, being empty, being enlightened.
While we are singing, dancing, emptying, attaining enlightenment, change keeps happening. "Try not to judge the changes" some say.
People, infrastructure, material goods, abundance, all come and go.  What is a good way for this to happen? What is a bad way for this to happen?
How many factors are involved? How can we make things better? How can I make things better?

HOW CAN WE SEE WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING?
HOW CAN   I    SEE WHAT IS REALLY HAPPENING?

Is everything perfect? Does everything suck big time?
We can really get going in loops ... try not to think, use your mind, use your imagination, listen, think, open your eyes, use your ears ...

Ah, so what is it indeed to be human? to be you? to be me? to suffer loss with enormous changes? to continue to live? to suffer? to be content or happy beyond enormous loss?

I have on occasion, for no known reason, at times when I felt tremendous stress and sorrow, for moments felt a sensation of great inner peace. At other times it was as if a pair of hands were held against my shoulder blades in a most comforting manner.

It has been my experience to see some physical and emotional changes happen while practicing healing with energy. More questions than answers again. 

So what I guess I am trying to help myself deal with is how I see and feel these tremendous shifts in the world, and with the suffering I feel in the world. I have been sitting with it a lot over the years, and I have been changing, growing older, coming to ground.

More questions than answers.

But I think of those hands on my shoulders. I think of my friends. I think of their friends. I think of friends all the way out, and all the ancestors, down to the last microbe.

I wonder, and I have less pain. I hope that my wondering helps somehow; that a pause in belief can open vision, can open those figurative gateways to a way of less suffering for more than me.